Weddingbee Wannabe: Mythmatched: A Very Unicorn Ceremony

After our first looks, it was time for the ceremony. Except for the heat and a stifling humidity, the weather was beautiful. Fluffy white clouds in a mostly blue sky defied the predictions of torrential rain and strong winds.

Mr. U and I opted for a Jewish-ish ceremony. I say “ish” because it wasn’t entirely traditional. We didn’t have a chuppah—mostly because my DIY attempt at making one was the most epic of failures. Instead, we made do with the venue’s gazebo. We did, however, provide custom yarmulkes for the gentlemen to wear. Mr. U even designed a cute logo for the inside.

The inside of our yarmulkes (aka kippahs) / Personal photo. Logo by Mr. Unicorn.

The ceremony got off to a bit of a late start. Our violinist was very late; by the time she showed up, we were halfway down the aisle. After the fact, I was a little disappointed, but in the moment I was so very, very happy to be walking down the aisle, arm-in-arm with my parents, that I didn’t care.

I joined Mr. Unicorn under our “gaz-uppah” (chupp-ebo?), and Rabbi took over. Rabbi Lebow has known Mr. U since he was just a baby, so it was very special to have him officiate. The ceremony was lighthearted and funny, and I apologize in advance because this shiksa has very basic knowledge of Jewish wedding traditions. We signed the ketubah, drank from the Kiddush cup, and finally it was time for Mr. U to stomp on the glass.

Now, I’m told that most Jewish couples simply opt for a light bulb or something similarly easy to break. The glass item is usually wrapped in a napkin or placed in a cloth bag so the glass shards don’t go flying everywhere when the groom stomps down on it.

But I’m a Unicorn! And as such, I have to complicate things. In an effort to bring some sentimental value to the stomp-glass, I wanted Mr. U to stomp on a beautiful, multicolored blown-glass globe that my mother and I found in Murano, Italy when we visited for my 16^th birthday.

We placed the pretty glass sphere in a cloth bag, and when the time came, Mr. U stomped on it with gusto! But the globe slid out from under his foot to the other end of the cloth bag. So he chased it around with his foot for a while, looking pretty silly, if I do say so myself.

I think my face says it all.../ Screenshot from wedding video by Landon Donoho

Finally, Rabbi Lebow took pity on Mr. U, who was still doggedly stomping away at the glass that would not be stomped; Rabbi pulled the glass out of the bag, stared at it quizzically for a moment, then smashed it on the brick and told my sweet, persistent groom to go ahead and stomp on the shards.