Flower Power Failure

Very early on in the wedding-planning process I decided I wouldn’t have any real flowers. Why? They’re expensive, they wilt, they die. ‘Nuff said.

Instead, I was going to make these beauties that I found on the Martha Stewart site. Miss Cassie Chappelle makes these and sells them for the very low price of your left kidney. You only need one of those, after all.

Naturally, with a free tutorial available online, I wasn’t going to PAY someone to do what I could do myself.

I stocked up on floral tape, floral wire, and coffee filters. And let the project sit for months. And months. And months.

Finally, this week, I decided to actually sit down and get this knocked out. I’m pretty crafty, so I had no doubt in my mind that this was just one more easy peasy project.

Boy was I wrong.

This is the face of failure:

Personal photo. Kindly disregard the pit-bull butt.

At one point, I remember throwing down a very mangled “flower” on the floor, much to Mr. Unicorn’s surprise. I don’t normally freak out with crafts. I just keep at it until I get results. Except this time around, I wasn’t getting ANYWHERE.

Beaten by coffee filters and floral tape. How sad.

My MIL, on the other hand, was cranking out gorgeous coffee filter blooms like it was nothing.

Obviously I can’t rely on my poor MIL to make enough flowers for 8 bouquets, centerpieces, and 7 boutonnieres by September 1^st. That would be cruel and unusual punishment. She would have to make flowers from sunup to sunset for the remaining 70-ish days before the wedding.

The answer???

Buttons.

Behold the button bouquet. Is it not adorable, if somewhat unorthodox?

Personal photo. Not NEARLY enough "blooms," to be a bouquet, but you get the idea.

What do you think? Will these work as flower substitutes? Or should I resign myself to the fact that I’m going to have to hire a florist?